


Cosi fan tutti

by Alexanda (Doire)



Category: Die Zauberflöte | The Magic Flute - Mozart/Schikaneder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-20
Updated: 2008-12-20
Packaged: 2018-01-25 02:57:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1627928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doire/pseuds/Alexanda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tamino and Papageno set off to Sarastro's temple, discussing women along the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cosi fan tutti

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to Tampon and Paragon who would have starred if my spell checker had had its way.  
> Thank you linguaphiles on livejournal for answering my questions and hopefully stopping me looking too foolish.  
> And definitely not least, thank you to Vomit Bunny who not only kept me going and repeatedly reassured me I could finish even as the deadlines approached, but checked this through at the last moment  again!  
> Written for Katta

 

 

_... Farväl, lev gott, farväl, lev gott, farväl, farväl, vi ses igen. Vi ses igen. Vi ses igen._

End of Act one - scene one, but not yet the beginning of scene two

Tamino and Papageno wander into view. They do not seem to be in a hurry.

Papageno stops and twists round and round, peering in all directions. "Where did they go? Weren't they just here?"

Tamino, who had at least continued in one direction, also stops to say, "What now?"

Papageno gestures up to the skies. "The boys. Three boys should be floating over us. Our only guides to finding the temple, remember."

Tamino appears perplexed. "Why do you chatter on so much? They will be here when we need them." Papageno looks crestfallen and begins to move on before Tamino begins again. "The right people are always here when one needs them: handmaidens with gifts; mothers with beautiful daughters; dragon killers, even if their identity is obscure; guides to life... Sometimes I just want to do it for myself."

Papageno stage whispers, "And you say I chatter on." And continues, "But where do we go now? How do we tell?" 

"We wait here. What else can we do?

"Then your honour won't mind me having a bite to eat." Papageno sits and pulls out bread and a flask. Tamino joins him with no sign of self-consciousness. They eat quietly for few moments until Papageno breaks the silence. "Why does everyone give you things? Flutes, quests? Why, they gave you me!" He starts again, "It's as though they think you deserve to have them, but why?"

Tamino replies, but his answer is lost in his food. It was probably astonishment that anyone had to ask.

"I deserve things too. I deserve a wife. I want one so much, but I can't catch one." He carries on despite Tamino's attempts to speak, "If only the girls would let me catch them, then they'd know how charming I am, how I am the best one for them.

"The Queen's ladies were fighting over you, before you woke, fighting over who would stay with you, but to me they just say 'Oh, Papageno,' treat me badly and order me around. They gave me stones for bread.

"How can I make them see how good I am?"

Tamino laughs, "So you admit they were there first?" 

Papageno looks wounded and mutters. The words "padlock" and "again" are just audible. 

"You just lay there and still they wanted you. I try my best and they just reject me. I sing about capturing birds and caging them, but it looks as though that's the only way I'll get to keep a girl. They always choose someone else. I'll just not have to give them that choice.

Tamino makes a false start or two then replies, "Just show them you don't care and they'll flock to you. Don't you wait for birds to come to your snares? You can't pursue them?

"It's keeping women in their place that's the problem really.

"I don't trust them. What do they want? How does anyone understand women?

"When I rescue the Queen's daughter, I will know that she is beholden to me, I will know why she wants me. Her mother has promised her to me and I will marry her."

Papageno cocks his head, birdlike, and ponders this. "That can't be all. I may not understand women any more than you, but I want them to want me. I love women, girls, even the grandmas. I catch them but they slip through my fingers. If only they would stay awhile so I could show them what a good husband I'd be. But no, they catch sight of someone else and they're off. "

"I see no reason why they'd scorn you, you look fine to me. Why, when I first caught sight of you I thought you a very manly man. One much more likely to have killed the dragon than those sisters." Tamino shudders. "They were intimidating."

"Ah."

"I don't know why women don't stay with you. Perhaps you scare them off? How do you treat them?"

"I tell them how I would like to make them mine and...."

"Ah."

Papageno sighs, gets up and then throws himself on the ground next to Tamino. "Show me, Prince. Show me how to behave to catch a wife." He rolls over. "How will I be happy if I don't find a sweet little wife for Papageno? A prince should educate his squire, shouldn't he?"

Tamino jumps up. "We need to think about the quest. I think it's time to go."

"We don't know where to go. I don't know how to catch a wife, but you can teach me that."

Tamino gives in, "Very well, if I was a pretty girl, how would you greet me?"

"Easy! 'Pretty maiden come home with me and I will make you happy.' And I would take her-"

"I think I see why they run from you. Why, the girl has scarcely seen you and you ask her to think of going home with you."

"But I would make her so happy."

"I'm sure you would, but how is she to know? No, you must let her be with you, let her do what she will for you." He laughs, "Like a bird, let her hop closer without scaring her away. Then you can think of suggesting she stay."

Papageno looks at Tamino. "Sweet maiden," he begins, "thank you for the bread and cheese. I am most honoured."

Tamino looks down. "It was nothing," he says.

"I... I... What do I say now?"

"Tell her how sweet she is. Tell her how special she is. She is special if she is the one you want. Then, if she offers the chance, you take her hand and brush your lips over it. To sympathise with love's instincts is a woman's duty."

Papageno tries again, "Sweetling, you are so cute." Tamino smiles shyly. "Such bright eyes, a happy smile. May I sit by you?" He suits actions to words without waiting for permission. Tamino does not protest. "Let me see that smile again. "Tamino smiles coyly and Papageno smiles back. "We should be happy with love." He leans over and attempts to kiss Tamino.

They spring apart in shock, both trying to get their excuses out first:

Papageno proclaiming, "It's just instinct, you play the part so well."

Tamino shows more composure merely suggesting, "That's enough. I'm sure you can work it out from there." Both turn to look up as laughter showers over them.

Each of the boys asks in turn, "Is this the way to your desires?" before breaking down in giggles in the balloon. Both Tamino and Papageno try to look earnest, but fail.

"Nothing is more noble than man and wife."

"Are you trying to make a short-cut?"

"Is this way you want to go?" Their laughter rings out again before the boys join together to advise, "This road leads you to your destination. Still, you must win your way there."

"Papageno, run. Pamina needs you now."

"Tamino, learn our lessons; be steadfast, patient and listen well."

Papageno and Tamino both leave, Papageno rather faster than the Prince.

Three boys repeat:

"Children they are now, but young men they will be. Learn quickly to be a man and you will win."

End of scene and beginning of Act one - scene two

 


End file.
